

You can always change basic things about the kind of person you are.You can do things differently, but the important parts of who you are can’t really be changed.No matter what kind of person you are, you can always change substantially.You are a certain kind of person, and there is not much that can be done to really change that.1The title sounds a little self help-y, and it is so in some places, but it’s also rooted in real research that Dweck has done on what she calls “fixed” and “growth” mindsets.Ĭonsider how much you agree with these questions from Dwick’s research: It’s called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. The second thing that made me reconsider the words “Well, you’re really good at it” was a book I’d recently finished reading. Failure is an opportunity to learn, an opportunity to persist, and an opportunity to, as they say, git gud. Nobody flies through on their first try if they’re truly new to the game. But if you persist at them and learn how things work, where enemies lurk, and exactly how to engage with the in-game dangers, you can persist and win. It’s true that the Souls games require a baseline of manual dexterity and game system literacy. If you don’t know, the Dark Souls series is difficult by most standards, but I think most of that reputation is earned by virtue of brutally punishing sloppy players who don’t pay attention. The first was Dark Souls III, which I had been fighting my way through at the time. But then I thought of two things to make me reconsider those particular words. So I started to say “Well, you’re really good at it,” which is true. But I thought getting excited about competitive swimming would be good for her for various reasons.

The swim meets are noisy and demanding competitions where she goes up against others who are often better than her. “Getting up to practice sucks and the competitions are kinda intense.”įurther probing revealed that by “intense” she meant “intimidating” and by “sucks” she means …sucks. “I dunno,” she said, shrugging and looking away. “What? Why not? You were into it last summer.” I asked her if she was looking forward to it. We had recently signed my daughter up for a summer swim team, which would start its practices soon. Opportunities for uninterrupted time alone to talk to her are rare, since I usually want everyone to just leave me alone so I can sit in my room and play video games. It happened when I was chatting with my daughter in the car. Enjoy and thanks!ĭark Souls helped me be a better parent the other day. This is a bonus article published because my Patreon supporters hit a goal recently.
